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What is sexual abuse?

You have been sexually abused or harassed if another person has:

• told anti-woman jokes or said bad things of a sexual nature about women
• treated women as sex objects
• acted like he or she owns you
• accused you of being sexual with others
• insisted that you dress more sexually than you wanted or criticized how you dress
• said bad things about your body
• put down your feelings about sex
• criticized your sexual past; blamed you if you had been sexually abused in the past or as a child
• criticized you sexually (for example, called you frigid)
• insisted on touching you sexually when you did not want to be touched — either when you two were alone or with other people
• forced you to mimic or watch pornography when you did not choose to do so
• called you a whore or a slut or another sexually derogative term
• withheld or made you beg for sexual affection
• made you strip when you did not want to — when you two were alone or with others
• openly showed sexual interest in other people when you were in public or at home (for example, when watching TV)
• had affairs (often bragging about them) after agreeing not to have sex with anyone else
• forced you to have sex
• forced you to have sex with other people
• forced you into prostitution
• forced you to make pornographic films
• made you watch other people having sex
• made you perform sexual acts you did not want to do
• forced sex after physically or emotionally abusing you
• forced sex when you were sick or when bad for your health
• hurt you with objects or weapons during sex
• made you pose for sexual photographs
• made you have sex with animals
• sexually abused you as a child
• raped you

 Sexual abuse is NOT just forced intercourse. All forms of coerced sexual contact or exploitation constitute sexual abuse.

You have been emotionally abused if another person has:

• ignored your feelings or made fun of them
• put down women as a group (for example-called them crazy, emotional, stupid)
• withheld approval, appreciation, or affection to punish you
• constantly criticized you and called you names
• told you that nothing you do is ever good enough no matter what you do or how hard you try
• yelled and screamed at you
• insulted your friends and family, driving them away
• put you down in front of others
• avoided socializing with you (for example-going out with you but then ignoring you)
• kept you from working or going to school, controlled your money, made all the decisions, demanded that you ask permission to do or have anything
• didn't let you use the telephone, and/or censored your mail and email
• refused to work or share money
• destroyed, sold, or given away things you (or the both of you) own
• kept you from talking to or seeing your friends and family
• threatened to hurt your friends or family
• punished or kept things from the children when angry at you
• treated the children more nicely than usual when angry at you
• threatened to kidnap or hurt the children if you left
• blamed you for any problems, real or imaginary, with the children
• abused pets to hurt you
• accused you of having affairs
• tried to control you with lies or contradictions
• tried to control you with emotions (for example-threatened to commit suicide if you left)
• told you it was your fault when a person physically or sexually abused you-that you asked for it, deserved it, or liked it
• denied that the behavior is abusive or minimized it by calling you crazy or stupid or telling you that you made it up
• threatened to tell or told your employer or family that you are a lesbian in order to get you fired or have your children removed
• threatened to use weapons, to harm you, or to kill you